You have been strict
You have been soft
You have been adamant
You have been what not
You have me carry you on my sleeves
Most importantly, dear heart
You have been what I stopped being.
Thanks for teaching me what my brain could not.
Happy Teacher’s Day!
In between the lines where the cloud meets the Earth, I lay
Warmth with a subtle chill
Comfy to close the lids
Cozy like a familiar lap
Pure and white: in between, I lay.
You care, you really do
When I am done sobbing for hours
And you are done with your day
I eagerly wait for you
You come half awake
I wish to pour my heart out
You release a slight sigh
I tell you what all I could
You love me you say
I tell you that’s not the point
You tell me that’s how you pay
I tell me to be patient
While you decide to hit the hay
Reflect on self, once in a while..
How far have you come…
What have you gained on way..
Who have you lost…
Was it all worth..
Is this what you wanted..
If not, why not…
How far you have to walk..
Are your feet tired..
Does your soul still has the spark like when you started…
Are you the same person any more..
Just once in a while, lost in the jungle of thoughts try to find a hut for self…
PS: This picture is a reflection on granite bench in the park.
Challenges are blessing in disguise. Among many, building discipline and boosting confidence are major takeaways. Contrary to challenges thrown by others (How dare he tell me I need to lose weight 😉 or the biggest challenger called Life 😛 self-challenges are most certainly positive motivating factor. You get to set your own goals, mid-goals and decide the pace to achieve it. Moreover, such challenges are a promise to self that you will improve. These challenges become personal test of integrity. By challenging self, you are already aware of your potential and this is the first step to improvement. By making them time bound you can continuously assess your performance. These challenges help you praise and criticize yourself in front of the mirror (Yayy!! You did great today.. those weights looked so heavy to lift till last week). And the perk is no side effects (at least not known). Also, as per research it takes anything from 21-66 days approximately to form a habit.
So I planned to have many 30-day self-challenges this year. The motives behind are:
- To stay focused on major life goals
- To bring discipline in life
- To learn new skills and improve the existing ones
- To stay away from not-so-important life drama
- To not waste any more time on not-at-all-important people and things
- To be self-absorbed (part of self-care)
- To enjoy the journey 2019 will bring 🙂
For above reasons I have challenged myself with “30 days of writing”. If this works then I have few more challenges planned. This way I will keep myself motivated throughout the year and get back on track with my life. A set to enjoy them. 🙂
In 2018,after a hiatus of almost 2 years I tried to make a comeback to reading. Reading transports me to a world filled with people and their problems which are better or worse than mine. I try to see through the eyes of characters and think from their minds. Reading broadens my perspective. I use goodreads to set my reading goal in the beginning of every year and try to achieve it.
For 2018, I set a goal of 24 books which I couldn’t keep up with as I was dawdling through each page for several days. I did not even finish 6 books by September. It was time to modify my original goal as I realized the coming months are going to be super busy and maintaining a reading schedule will be impossible. I brought down my reading goal to 12 books and read unfailingly, completing 10 books by December, even with a super active schedule. Though I couldn’t reach my goal I worked very hard in last 2 months to reach closer to it as much as possible (finished one book in a day sitting in hospital). I was happily doing this as that’s the level of commitment I wanted to show myself. I read some of the most amazing authors like Paulo Coelho , Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning (I will cover this book’s review in another post)
Now, for 2019 I have kept a more realistic goal of 15 books which I am secretly willing to surpass 😉 . I have not yet exactly decided which Authors I will focus but as of now my interest lies in reading more Indian authors of English and regional languages and one of the genre will be Self Help/Psychology.
What are you reading this year?
This year was tough but not as tough as last two years. I had to come to terms with a lot of things. Below are my major learning :
- Life is going to be progressively challenging, accept it gracefully.
- One decision can change your life and shift your crust.
- 30’s is tougher than you thought, be grateful for the earlier years.
- People are going to be mean even if you are their well-wishers.
- People will hate you for doing the right thing, don’t expect standards.
- Everyone has agenda, be careful.
- Healing takes longer than you think and its OK.
- Your plans are bound to fail but keep making them.
- Sometimes just being able to breathe is a sign of warrior.
- Books provide a lot of answers that your inner self is searching.
- Legal system sucks, you can’t do much about it.
- Even the closest people will not be able to understand exactly how you feel, guide them.
- Even the best of people have a little bad in them don’t get disappointed, tackle them.
- Loneliness is real and addictive. Meditate more often.
- Depression is difficult to decode, just go with the flow.
- Its OK to cry for hours.
- Negativity will creep into you even if you are full of positive energy.
- Mental health affects physical well being severely, take care of your mental health.
- Smiling is difficult but you have to.
- Therapy will work only if you believe in it.
2018 was all about coming to terms with life!